All change for the exhibition

To start off, a shock to match the best that Eastenders can manage. Well perhaps not quite, as we've not had a murder on our patch lately. A summons from Our Leader to an Extraordinary General Meeting, at a mere ten minutes notice. No time for speculation, perhaps deliberately so, although the facilities manager did manage to launch a rumour that the deputy chairman was about to announce his departure to the Congo, to fight for the rebels. Against whom, and in support of what, was not revealed.

The truth was almost as surprising. After more than twenty years of patronage, our use of Meols Cop school as our exhibition venue has come to an end. The departure was by mutual agreement, as all the best football clubs say nowadays. We had outgrown the facilities, and like a hermit crab with a cramped shell, we needed something bigger. 

In conditions of great secrecy, our committee had scouted round for alternatives, inspecting other schools that claimed to satisfy our stringent specification. Headmasters in plain clothes were interviewed at anonymous locations. Sports halls were measured with an industrial-strength tape measure. Catering facilities were examined with a long-handled spoon. Tender documents were scrutinised in triplicate. Finally a winner was announced, Birkdale Secondary, in the rather oddly-named Windy Harbour Road. Its main advantage was space, for more exhibits, more traders and more parking.

My immediate concern was - would our exhibition match up to the new upmarket location? Birkdale is allegedly the domicile of several Liverpool footballers - would we live in fear of rogue Everton supporters hurling abuse at our modest efforts? Time will tell, but for now we need to be bold, follow the brave advance of Our Leader and Embrace Change Enthusiastically.