Decisions, decisions
06/03/10 08:06
Having lit the blue touchpaper, your webmaster is now retiring to Zimbabwe to study somewhat larger locomotives.
In the year of the big four-zero
03/02/10 20:32
Time marches on, and we
are now in the year of our chairman's coming of
middle-age. A note from Darjeeling Tours has arrived in
response to a polite query on progress with devising
their tour programme for the coming twelve months.
Apparently there is to be a Raj History tour in the
autumn of this year, which may appeal to our more
patriotic members. However it has a fairly brief time
at Darjeeling itself, with no two-day steam charter.
Soundings are being made with the electorate, and
without wishing to prejudge the outcome it may well be
that this tour is sub-optimal for our purposes. In
which case Q1 2011 seems the more likely window of
opportunity.
Then we were four
21/12/09 18:23
Some photos and video are here.
Yet another Second Front
28/11/09 11:41
Not so much a second front, more a second Flood. Shortly after a foot of water had fallen on north Cumbria in 24 hours, we set off for our third episode of track maintenance on the Ratty. Fortunately the rain had been less severe where we were due to work, but there was still evidence of significant precipitation, with the promise of more to come. We spent most of the time shovelling ballast and clearing ditches, inbetween the statutory tea breaks in the statutory heated carriages, not to mention the statutory hot lunches. The weather was actually better than forecast, with only the occasional brief shower during work periods, and some welcome sunny intervals on the second day. And the runaway heated carriage only added to the entertainment.
Some photos are here.
A second Second Front
19/01/09 23:04
The success of the
first advance on the second front led inevitably to a
return to the Ravenglass stronghold, this time with a
team hand-picked using only two fingers. As well as
Derek the well-named Dog we had Thomas the Deaf Dog and
two fine Rhodesian Ridgebacks for company. For a while
on the Saturday we began to wonder if they were the
more intelligent ones, as they trotted around having a
good time while we pointlessly moved a point from point
A to point B, and a little while later moved it
laboriously back again.
However good breeding won out in the end and the realignment was successfully completed. An innovative labour-saving technique was used to bodily propel a complete track panel from point C to point D (adjacent to point A). To protect the patent no more can be said at this time, apart from a hint that a spare wagon might have been involved. Another innovation, for SMRS at least, was a hot lunch served al fresco on the platform at Dalegarth. Next day the weather forced us inside the new and well-appointed cafe/gift shop for Sunday lunch at a communal table. As someone said, just like school dinners.
Some photos are here.
However good breeding won out in the end and the realignment was successfully completed. An innovative labour-saving technique was used to bodily propel a complete track panel from point C to point D (adjacent to point A). To protect the patent no more can be said at this time, apart from a hint that a spare wagon might have been involved. Another innovation, for SMRS at least, was a hot lunch served al fresco on the platform at Dalegarth. Next day the weather forced us inside the new and well-appointed cafe/gift shop for Sunday lunch at a communal table. As someone said, just like school dinners.
Some photos are here.
Not the Christmas meal
18/12/08 18:05
Still we persevered with a day adjusting the line and length of various curves through Beddgelert forest, refilling via a special-offer menu at Spooner’s and for some, a trip on the Ffestiniog Santa Special. Father Christmas duly made an appearance, with a distinctly Welsh accent and a taste for the older variety of pun, and insisted on being photographed next to the Chairman. And just who got whose autograph is still not clear.
Others, perhaps wisely, chose to make an early departure to visit the Wigan model railway exhibition, one of the few in the north-west which we will compare against our own.
A step closer
27/11/08 23:00
More contact with Darjeeling Tours, this time on the
publication of their 09/10 programme. Some
tantalising possibilities emerge, despite discounting
the Sewing Magazine tour (on the grounds of street
cred) and the unaccompanied tours. A straw poll
around several candidates revealed a preference for
late 2010, for which no tours have yet been
scheduled. Who said this was going to be easy?
A Second Front is opened
27/11/08 22:59
As the year draws to a close, it again falls to Our
Chairman to lead from the front, opening a new
salient in the battle for 2010 fitness, this time on
the Ravenglass and Eskdale Railway. Surprisingly,
they have not only granted him membership, but also
permit him occasional use of a guard’s whistle, when
all seems quiet. The result was unforseeable by even
the most long-serving committee member, namely a
deputation from SMRS to assist in their annual
maintenance fortnight. Subtle differences from our
previous experiences on the Welsh Highland included
heated coaches on the permanent way train, tea breaks
of sufficient length to make good use of them, and
Derek the Dog as the on-board service manager. A hot
meal at lunch time was also gladly received. Some
photos are here. And no, I don’t know
what’s happened to the formatting, either.
Struggling leaderless in the woods
25/10/08 20:48
As a reward for the
excesses of August, a special mid-week excursion was
organised for mid-October 2008, to experience a
slightly different form of training. Again trackwork,
but this time improving on our previous efforts. As one
participant put it: ‘It’s really quite simple, we clean
the ballast off the rails, unclip the panel, unbolt the
fishplates, jack up one rail, Jim Crow the ends until
the curve looks right, regap the gap, jack the rail
down, bolt up the new, improved fishplates, clip the
rail down, check the alignment and repeat for the other
rail. Then we move to the next joint and do it all
again’.
Unfortunately he omitted to mention the weather forecast, which was not good for our second day, the Thursday. Warm, quite blustery rain in the morning and cold, very blustery rain in the afternoon. In the absence of Our Leader, who had read the forecast, it was never going to go the full distance, and we retired early for the night. The return journey to Rhyd Ddu was notable for the demonstration of the efficiency of the new track drains, and for the slipperiness of the up-gradient through Beddgelert forest. Fortunately Spooner’s provided the necessary means of revival, and the weather improved significantly for the following day’s R&R on the Ffestiniog Railway.
Some photos of the working are here and of the resting are here.
Unfortunately he omitted to mention the weather forecast, which was not good for our second day, the Thursday. Warm, quite blustery rain in the morning and cold, very blustery rain in the afternoon. In the absence of Our Leader, who had read the forecast, it was never going to go the full distance, and we retired early for the night. The return journey to Rhyd Ddu was notable for the demonstration of the efficiency of the new track drains, and for the slipperiness of the up-gradient through Beddgelert forest. Fortunately Spooner’s provided the necessary means of revival, and the weather improved significantly for the following day’s R&R on the Ffestiniog Railway.
Some photos of the working are here and of the resting are here.
High summer in the Highlands
25/10/08 19:55
Predictably, the formal joining of the track never took place, with various excuses floated about the need to perform various complex alignments, re-curvatures and ballasting manoeuvres before the final cut could be made. Nonetheless a golden spike was produced, and duly spiked ‘twixt rail and sleeper. Probably only gold-painted steel, but the thought was there.
Some photos are here.
Advance warning
14/05/08 21:38
Meanwhile, the year of
destiny creeps ever closer. Time to go to next base,
and advise the service provider that SMRS is coming.
Surprisingly, they take it well, and even give the
impression they would welcome our business. Clearly the
firewall erected around our more nefarious activities
is still doing its job, and is letting only good news
filter through.
They ask a few pointed questions, though. Like when, where and how many? As if I knew. Were the SMRS a meritocracy, or better still a dictatorship, I could give the answers in a trice. But the potential trippers must be consulted, and given at least a nominal say in where they go and when. An AOB item for the AGM looms.
They ask a few pointed questions, though. Like when, where and how many? As if I knew. Were the SMRS a meritocracy, or better still a dictatorship, I could give the answers in a trice. But the potential trippers must be consulted, and given at least a nominal say in where they go and when. An AOB item for the AGM looms.
All Sorts of Success
06/03/08 10:31
After detailed
statistical analysis of the results of Phase 1, Phase 2
of the Tasks was authorised. This time the safety of
Our Leader was ensured in a different manner. An
additional candidate would attend Phase 2, programmed
to act as a human sacrifice to attract, deflect and/or
absorb any potential harm or misadventure, thus
shielding Our Leader from any possible ill-effects.
Again a clamour of applicants resulted, including two
with medical conditions which might otherwise exclude
them from the necessarily physical nature of the Tasks.
However the chosen one was a well-decorated and more-or-less able-bodied volunteer, whose Frank bravery was rewarded by surviving the ordeal apparently unscathed. Whether any long-term effects will emerge only time and careful, thorough, fee-earning surveillance by our medical officer, will tell.
The record of achievement is here. Not surprisingly, Our Leader’s attendance for the full duration of the examination ensured its complete success. In recognition of His presence the Welsh Highland Railway laid on a special attraction, in the form of a bridge on which to lay the track, with real wooden sleepers to fix it to. This taxed the team’s computational ability to the limit, and just a tad beyond. The Chairman’s contribution was such that parts of the track were laid not once, not twice, but three times. Indeed it was not until the following Tuesday that the rest of the track over the bridge was considered to have been laid to the same standard.
The other Tasks were completed with effortless ease, and throughout the entire period of the trial the sun shone on all around. It was awesome just to have been there, let alone participate. Such leadership!
However the chosen one was a well-decorated and more-or-less able-bodied volunteer, whose Frank bravery was rewarded by surviving the ordeal apparently unscathed. Whether any long-term effects will emerge only time and careful, thorough, fee-earning surveillance by our medical officer, will tell.
The record of achievement is here. Not surprisingly, Our Leader’s attendance for the full duration of the examination ensured its complete success. In recognition of His presence the Welsh Highland Railway laid on a special attraction, in the form of a bridge on which to lay the track, with real wooden sleepers to fix it to. This taxed the team’s computational ability to the limit, and just a tad beyond. The Chairman’s contribution was such that parts of the track were laid not once, not twice, but three times. Indeed it was not until the following Tuesday that the rest of the track over the bridge was considered to have been laid to the same standard.
The other Tasks were completed with effortless ease, and throughout the entire period of the trial the sun shone on all around. It was awesome just to have been there, let alone participate. Such leadership!
A Result of Sorts
01/03/08 21:49
Photographic evidence of
the examination in progress is here. It can be seen that neither
candidate succeeded in Task Two, although naturally
no blame can be adduced to Our Leader. Pressing
matters of State compelled him to return to his
Office of Revenue in downtown Bootle, to take
personal charge of a situation threatening to damage
the nation’s financial well-being. Heroically, he
insisted on completing Task Three before we
departed.
As for the legal advisor, he was all but disqualified at the start for inappropriate use of alternative-gender clothing, namely a pair of nylon insulating undergarments. He was dismissed from the Presence after the first day, when an on-site risk assessment revealed his many and varied customer service skills would go untapped. He returned home early in disgrace, under sentence of riding a motorcycle for almost the whole of the next day, the better to learn the error of his ways. A brown envelope is awaited.
As for the legal advisor, he was all but disqualified at the start for inappropriate use of alternative-gender clothing, namely a pair of nylon insulating undergarments. He was dismissed from the Presence after the first day, when an on-site risk assessment revealed his many and varied customer service skills would go untapped. He returned home early in disgrace, under sentence of riding a motorcycle for almost the whole of the next day, the better to learn the error of his ways. A brown envelope is awaited.
Protection Racket
01/03/08 21:48
On careful reflection it
became clear that only statutory protection would
provide the necessary guarantees of safety. After
lengthy discussion a solution was devised - the
Society’s legal advisor and small-claims supervisor
would be awarded a personal care contract. Close
supervision would be provided by Ex-Chairman One and
Ex-Chairman Two, both of whom also had considerable
experience in the application of the Laws of the Realm.
Departure was preceded by a ceremonial meal at the Kasturi Restaurant, where Indian cuisine was consumed as a symbolic reminder of the True Purpose of our mission. Two supporters and a non-travelling reserve also attended, and bid us a tearful farewell as we departed with full ceremony for the Welsh frontier lands.
Departure was preceded by a ceremonial meal at the Kasturi Restaurant, where Indian cuisine was consumed as a symbolic reminder of the True Purpose of our mission. Two supporters and a non-travelling reserve also attended, and bid us a tearful farewell as we departed with full ceremony for the Welsh frontier lands.
Examination
28/02/08 21:46
Much to the committee’s
humble pleasure the conditions were found acceptable,
after settling a minor point of clarification. This was
to the effect that supplying a packet of crisps (in
lieu of a packet of crisp notes) was not a satisfactory
alternative to completion of the Three Tasks. And so
authorisation was given for the first candidates to
offer themselves for examination.
At this juncture Our Chairman revealed once more the strength and character of His Leadership. Ever willing to experience the privations of his fortunate subjects, He insisted on submitting Himself to the Tasks in person. Naturally this caused some alarm amongst said loyal subjects, as the risks to His Personage becoming damaged in some way were judged small but nonetheless unthinkable. If anything happened He would be almost irreplaceable – we would just have to get someone else to be chairman.
At this juncture Our Chairman revealed once more the strength and character of His Leadership. Ever willing to experience the privations of his fortunate subjects, He insisted on submitting Himself to the Tasks in person. Naturally this caused some alarm amongst said loyal subjects, as the risks to His Personage becoming damaged in some way were judged small but nonetheless unthinkable. If anything happened He would be almost irreplaceable – we would just have to get someone else to be chairman.
The Tasks
20/02/08 02:45
Item 2 on the agenda was
the choosing of suitable gentlemen-in-waiting to
accompany Himself. Clamour for places began as soon as
the epic scale of the adventure was proclaimed to the
membership. It was clear that a rigorous and
dispassionate selection procedure would be required, in
which the ability to supply financial sweeteners would
be a (relatively) small factor. After a freewheeling
brainstorming session a set of Proving Tasks were
devised and deferentially submitted for approval:
Task One: Lay at least four track panels on the Welsh Highland Railway,
Task Two: Traverse the full length of the Festiniog Railway (in both directions) without the use of supplementary oxygen, and
Task Three: Buy a round (Full Beer, no halves, spirits or shandy permitted) for Team members at Spooner's Bar, Porthmadog Station.
As an alternative, and for favoured candidates only, membership can be sought by submission of a packet of crisp, new £20 notes in a brown envelope, for inspection by Our Chairman and Team Leader. He regrets applications cannot be returned.
Task One: Lay at least four track panels on the Welsh Highland Railway,
Task Two: Traverse the full length of the Festiniog Railway (in both directions) without the use of supplementary oxygen, and
Task Three: Buy a round (Full Beer, no halves, spirits or shandy permitted) for Team members at Spooner's Bar, Porthmadog Station.
As an alternative, and for favoured candidates only, membership can be sought by submission of a packet of crisp, new £20 notes in a brown envelope, for inspection by Our Chairman and Team Leader. He regrets applications cannot be returned.
Darjeeling Tours
12/02/08 02:43
The first item on the
agenda of the India (Touring Purposes) (2010)
sub-committee was selection of a sufficiently
prestigious tour operator to shepherd Our Chairman and
his Entourage across the sub-continent.
There was only one serious contender, even before the brown envelopes were opened. Darjeeling Tours had delivered exemplary performance on two previous occasions for junior SMRS members (both ex-chairmen but now reduced to the ranks) and could be relied on to deliver the standard of service demanded. And so it was decided.
There was only one serious contender, even before the brown envelopes were opened. Darjeeling Tours had delivered exemplary performance on two previous occasions for junior SMRS members (both ex-chairmen but now reduced to the ranks) and could be relied on to deliver the standard of service demanded. And so it was decided.
A Big Idea
03/01/08 12:00
Once upon a time, or
quite soon after, a certain chief modeller of railways
had a Big Idea. As befits a senior government employee,
he spelled out the concept in simple words, for the
benefit of his grateful public:
'2010 AD, am 40, go India with friends, play trains, have big party'.
And so Project 2010 was founded, by edict of the current (for the foreseeable future at least) chairman of the Southport Model Railway Society. The CM of R, showing the leadership skills that had slow-tracked him to the pinnacle of Southport's governing elite, sketched out the details in a few more diamonds of sparkling prose:
'If two of my underlings can go to Darjeeling, one of them twice, I can too. So see to it.'
We had our direction and our inspiration.
'2010 AD, am 40, go India with friends, play trains, have big party'.
And so Project 2010 was founded, by edict of the current (for the foreseeable future at least) chairman of the Southport Model Railway Society. The CM of R, showing the leadership skills that had slow-tracked him to the pinnacle of Southport's governing elite, sketched out the details in a few more diamonds of sparkling prose:
'If two of my underlings can go to Darjeeling, one of them twice, I can too. So see to it.'
We had our direction and our inspiration.


